Upper Class Travel Linked to Intestinal Gas

If you don’t do a lot of Business travel you are probably thinking how can First and Business Class have any downsides when compared to Economy Class. I think I have mentioned in the past that one unpleasantness when traveling long haul is the odour from  flatulent co-travellers. 

I now believe I have enough data to draw a scientific link between upper class travel and excessive amounts of intestinal gas. The cause of this is modern cabin design. You may be asking what is my proof? Well, after experiencing numerous (too many to count or remember) Economy Class trips and comparing that to the multiple Upper Class trips over a 21 year period I think I have a good data set to work with. 

Here is my hypothesis: when travelling long haul in an upper class cabin travellers have room to stretch out enough to sleep. 21 years ago upper class travel was more specious but you were mainly sitting in a reclined position with extra leg room. However, with the modern design of upper class cabins, which allows you to lay fully in the prone position, people are much more comfortable and can actually fall deeply asleep. This combined with the pressure in the aircraft creates excessive amounts of intestinal gas.  

The difference in Economy Class is that you spend the flight with your knees wrapped around your ears trying to drown out the sound of the wailing toddlers and grumpy pre-teens “who are bored and didn’t want to go on this dumb trip in the first place.” So, getting yourself in a position physically or emotionally for sleep is damned impossible! Hence intestinal wind stays put.

Whereas; if you are in upper class and are the type of person who likes to read or watch movies before attempting sleep you will no doubt be subjected to wafts of odorous fumes from sleeping passengers. 

Conclusion, foul bodily odours are more pervasive in upper class cabins lending a smelly musk to the entire experience.

Soggy Sunday

It is another rainy and windy day here, this week we have  seen our local rivers, streams and brooks on the verge of bursting from all of the rushing runoff from the rain.  I know we are officially in a drought but when you wake up to the sound of the whipping wind and lashing rain you don’t much think about hose pipe bans and water shortages.  So, what are some things you can do on a soggy Sunday like this?  My mom, (whose birthday it is today, Happy Birthday Mom!), loves to do what she calls “doing bear”. Doing bear, consists of puling the covers way up as if you are in a cave and snuggling down to listen to the rain outside feeling all warm and safe in your cave.  Not a bad way to spend a day like today.

 

I could never be a weather person

Being the control freak that I am I could never do a job where I knew I was going to be wrong the majority of the time, no matter what I said!  Why the weather theme today?  Well, we were told just yesterday that we were “officially” in a draught (in our part of England).  Today I am sitting in an office on the corner of building and I’m surrounded by huge windows.  Watching the wind  whip the RAIN into a frenzy.  It is lashing so hard against the windows that if feels more like a car wash than an office!  I am grateful for the rain, as I don’t want us to be in a draught but I started thinking about those poor buggers who have to try to predict what Mother Nature is going to do.  It seems she does have a good sense of humour though.  I’m sure she was thinking “okay, official draught well that means rain is on the agenda for tomorrow, let’s see what they do with that!”  I wonder what Mother Nature has in store for this weekend because the weather people have called for “balmy temperatures”.  Bets anyone?