Last week we were out with friends at the beautiful Avon Gorge Hotel in Bristol. They have an incredible terrace with views across the Avon and of the Clifton suspension bridge. We are sitting there after ordering, having a drink when all of a sudden I heard a “Splaaaat!” Immediately followed by this slap against my forearm. I looked down and saw a thick, long, green blob that ran almost from my elbow to my wrist. It looked like pesto on steroids. After the laughter at the table died down and my stomach settled a bit, our lunch arrived. I had ordered Cous Cous and roasted goat’s cheese salad. When the waitress placed my plate in front of me my stomach lurched as I noticed they had decorated my plate on both sides with a thick slug-like dollop of PESTO! Needless to say it looked far too familiar to my recent forearm experience. So, some people say when a bird poops on you that it is good luck. Well within 5 minutes of the food arriving the skies opened and there was a torrential rain shower that we had to out run back to the shelter of the bar. if that is the kind of luck bird poop brings…count me out. I’ll keep looking for my 4 leaf clovers thank you.
Today’s story line is; what people do when they are waiting for their printing to complete. This may seem like a very benign subject but I think you will be surprised at some of the behaviours I’ve witnessed. My desk position (for the time being) is at the end of a row facing one of the two printers that service 80+ people on this project. So when someone is standing there waiting for their print job to finish they are in my eye line, which is why I notice what they are doing. (Didn’t want you to think I was just nosy!) Here are a few good ones.
We have the traditional toe tapper. I didn’t actually think this was something people did other than when “acting” like they are waiting but no people do tap their toes while waiting.
Then there is the individual that always uses their printing time to do some stretching exercises, which is a very sensible thing to do if you are stuck in front of a computer all day. However, if the print job is a bit longer than normal our stretching turns into a full on fitness session with deep knee bends, calf stretches (using the wall next to the printer) and yesterday I saw him do a couple of vertical jumps. Now that is going a bit far as by then he had the attention of most of the room.
We have those folks who use their time for deep thinking. They stand their in front of the printer and you can see that their body is present but there is definitely no one at home. Their minds are somewhere else entirely and you can usually see from their body language if it is a good place or not. Yesterday I had the two extremes between the lady who had the biggest pout on her face I’ve ever seen on someone older than 4. About 15 minutes later we had the person who was obviously thinking about a very good dream or something else equally lovely because the look on their face was such that when they saw me look up at them they turned bright red!
Finally my favourite for this week is the man who I think was practicing his Karaoke routine for Friday night. He was literally doing various dance moves and singing to himself. No, I am not making this up. I couldn’t make out the words of the tune but the dance moves said someone who did most of their dancing int he 80’s and 90’s trying to adapt to something more Street. I have to say I could not help myself and I had to clap when he was finished. Keep your eyes open for funny office stories.
I have had several similar conversations over the last few days about at what point in our lives do the rules change? For example when you are a child and the adults are all sitting in the sitting room after lunch and someone starts to doze off, as a child you cannot understand this behaviour you think, “it is the middle of the day why are you sleeping?” Kids on the other hand won’t go to bed then as teens they won’t get out of bed and as an adult all you want is your bed. In a similar vain, at what point in your life do bodily functions such as wind (passing gas for our American friends) become revolting and how confusing is this. When a child burps or does something related to burping people say “oh, good boy, better out than in…” When you are a bit older and you do the exact same thing you hear “oh, you filthy pig!” Amazing that any of us grow up completely sane.