My greatest nemesis…flat packed furniture and for someone who lacks spacial aptitude yet has the confidence to adopt the motto, “if all else fails read the instructions” you can see where this is a very bad mixture. So yesterday when we could no longer put off opening the giant box in our bedroom containing my new and not very expensive desk, it was time to face my foe. Now, Pam and I are very different people, she is my balance. Where I will put together first and ask questions later when the door handles are upside down, Pam will study the instructions, lay out all of the components and then tackle the beast head on. This was actually our first piece of flat packed furniture that we have bought together so I was going to turn over a new leaf and do it the right way. I took out all of the bits, sorted them and opened the dreaded instructions. I made it to step two before calling in the reinforcements who was cooking dinner at the time. Together we battled through steps 2 and 3 before my lovely and gentle partner announced that she was going to through the runners for the drawers through our bedroom window. She took a break at this point. I soldiered on not willing to be defeated by a couple of pieces of metal with little plastic wheels on them. I completed building the first drawer with great triumph. Now, time for the second drawer I look back at the instructions (now that I’m using them I cannot do anything without their guidance and I see that the next step takes you on to something different. Here I am one drawer complete and now I’m stranded. The instructions did not even say anything like “repeat last step for 2nd drawer” or “okay fly solo on the 2nd drawer”…nothing just on to the next step. Not to be outdone I used my first drawer as a guide and completed the second one. Once the drawers were built and the runners put on (which was the worst part by far) the next few steps went swimmingly. Pam came in very surprised to see the shape of a desk and no pieces outside our window. Together we put the top on and were now ready to just pop the drawers in and we were done. Okay, you know those runners that I was so proud I had conquered? Well, the left drawer went in but will not come out more than 3 inches and the right drawer will not even go in!! Pam says “no problem we don’t need the drawers so we can just leave them out.” One issuette here…the left drawer physically won’t leave its little cosy space. It is there and it is staying. We left it last night before the entire thing ended up outside, saying that we would sort it tomorrow. Pam appeared confident saying “what goes in must come out”. When I got up I tried to extricate the drawer to no avail. Keeping my failed attempt to myself I will let the master do her stuff when she comes home. At the moment though we don’t have a desk but a table with one drawer that only opens 3 inches! Who the Hell ever thought selling furniture in this manner was a good idea? Come to think of it maybe selling it was a brilliant idea it is the stupid people like me who buy the stuff knowing we will not get it to look anything like the picture on the box that are making them rich!
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