Recently my partner and I formed our Civil Partnership. One of the things that you have to consider is whether or not you want to change your name or title. I liked the idea of having the same name but then had to think about the pros and cons like “would I lose my identity?” Well, I have had the same name my whole life! So, then I thought about changing my title so the world would know I was in a Civil Partnership.
Why is this important? Well, let’s think about this…when you first meet someone (personal or business) you try to figure them out. Things run through your head as you are talking to them “is this person single, married, have kids or maybe divorced”. Why do we ask ourselves these questions (other than because we are generally nosey by nature). We endeavour to find some common ground without having to ask personal questions. At the same time the other person is doing the same thing to us. Then the moment comes when you have to refer to your partner in conversation. (If you are heterosexual you probably will not have even thought about this let alone experienced it.) For those of us who are not heterosexual we have to make a snap decision. “Do I try to stay generic and say ‘my partner’ instead using her name?” “Do I jump right in and say ‘she’ where they would be expecting ‘he’? See, I’ll bet for many of you this type of decision never crosses your mind. I am proud to have Pam as my partner however, I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone is comfortable with our relationship. This take us back to the question of title. Yes, changing my title would tell people what my status was and it would be out there…the uncomfortable point in the conversation won’t be an issue. But here is the problem. There is no title that describes a Civil Partnership. Your choice is to go from Miss to either Ms or Mrs. I have been trying to come up with a suitable title that is intuitive and represents a Civil Partnership. I have not come up with anything clever yet so I am opening it up to you. If you have a suggestion please post a comment. Let’s come up with something that I could propose on behalf of the people who have taken their Civil Partnership vows.